Today has been a long day! Why does it seem that when I am in public with my kids I feel people do not take me as intelligent as I feel when I was at work. This last week has been a struggle and experienced this through this past week. I have been working on getting our bills lowered per month. This has been an adventure and a lot of work. I researched different car insurance prices. With changing different premiums I was able to lower the bill by $150! I than began to work on our $360 cell phone bill. Yes I know how ridiculous that is. With a little extra money we had in savings we have paid off all the phones. This is where the cell phone companies get people! They say the phone is free.. yes that may be true that you do not have to pay out of pocket that day for it. But what happens is when you get this free new phone you are being billed monthly for it. Paying these phones off early if you can will not save you any amount of money, but will help you lower your monthly payments. I love that when I went into our cell phone carrier the young men there were so confused! They did not understand why I would pay the phones off. I also wanted to use a phone I had bought off Amazon to replace my 13 yr olds phone that has fallen apart. The guy there talked to me as if I had no clue about anything. He was using cell phone terminology as if to talk circles around me. To tell me the phone I had got would work, and than it would not work. I get home and call customer service and researched the phone... and yes it will work. Long story short I got them to get the phone connected. Why though did we have to go through all that? It could of been avoided if I was not being treated as a moron. And then there was today! We need tires for our van, and different shops were giving me different prices and information. Ugh! We spent yes we the 3 yr old and 1 yr old all day at two different shops. I know there are times we get frustrated when we take littles out... and I know I was pretty snippy today. But out of all that there are positive moments. Today my 3 yr old meet a wonderful man, a 75 yr old who used to run a daycare with his wife for 20 yrs. He was sincere and you could tell how sad he was that the daycare was closed. In my chaos and frustration with the way I feel I am treated I was given the opportunity to take a moment and enjoy this man's company while waiting for an oil change. He was so kind he read stories to her. This day is no longer just a long day that was all for nothing! Take time to notice the smaller things and just relax! Time for some chocolate and bed!!

Walk

Today I decided to go for a walk, not that it is a great accomplishment or anything to brag about. I have been SO busy with kids, activities, end of school year push and upcoming surgery.
The walk was great! We walked to the closest park and no I am not keeping track of steps, the kids got to play for an hour. It was refreshing to get out of the house!

The end of school is coming up and yes I have to push the kids to finish and finish well! It seems this last week of school most of them do not want to do anything... why is that? Are they that burned out from school that they cannot make it another 4 days? I will be thankful when school is out as well, but I know 4 more days won't be very long.

I am also trying to figure out how to get my house organized and deep cleaned. I am scheduled for surgery the 31st and I will be down for 2 weeks. I am not saying at all that I do everything in the house... but a majority of it I do, and having someone else come over to not only help with the littles during the day but laundry, and dishes? I am still so far behind in our mounds of laundry! Where did all these cloths come from anyway?

I am brac 2 positive so if you are not sure what that means I have about an 85% chance of getting Ovarian cancer/ and also a high risk for Breast cancer. My surgery will be a complete hysterectomy. I have had one doc suggest to do a double mastectomy... yea that is not an option! So I had my first MRI a few weeks ago, and that was so much better then a mammogram! Okay maybe not that much better, still uncomfortable. I have to remain positive in all this right?

If you can today take a few minutes and get out of your house, office or wherever you are. Enjoy what you have! There is more than just a to do list...

Peace in the Midst of the Chaos

Chaos what does it look like? IT is defined as "complete disorder and confusion." I know that my chaos is not the same as another persons. It is unique to each person and how they handle stress. There are days I do not know which way is up or down and that is not because I am directionally challenged. It is because I am always trying to keep track of kids, are they were they are supposed to be? I am constantly remembering if I got everything they need; lunch money, coats, papers signed for school, getting to school on time, diaper bag and everything that goes in it. I feel like I have become a taxi driver, chief, maid, bookie, nurse, librarian, and the list feels like it just goes on and on... I know sometimes chaos seems like a storm, and when it gets out of control it is a mega storm. I think they are one in the same. My chaos is from the day to day things that life throws at me, either being my kids, my job, my finances, or family. 

Jesus had chaos and much of it! I am reminded of the time when Jesus was in the boat in Mark 4. This story shows us two principles that will help us in our chaos!The first is to REST in the midst! "But he was in the stern, asleep on the cushion; and they woke him up and said to him, “Teacher, do you not care that we are perishing."" There have been many times I have felt like I was drowning, with the to do list growing and the lack of help I had. I was always in panic state, trying to rush and get everything resolved! I did not ask for help because I did not know how to, I figured I could do it on my own. I was drowning emotionally! Thankfully I was rescued. I have a new outlook and have tried new things to stay afloat. First is to ask for help, period! It is not shameful and it is okay to have your children help around the house. The second is I have learned to let GO! This has been very hard for me as I tend to hold onto everything. This is freeing not just for you, but the people around you. You will not build up anger and blowup like a grenade... yes I have done this. It is difficult I will be the first to admit that raising a blended family is not easy. Many times there have been disagreements over the kids, but allowing myself to just let things go has been a huge help. And No I am not talking about being walked over, or that my thoughts and opinions do not matter, they do! I just cannot hold onto things I cannot change. The third is so be in a full attitude of prayer. In everything prayerfully take steps closer towards Him.

Once we learn to really REST, we need to know who provides that rest. Jesus was asleep in the midst with not one worry! ^"He said to them, “Why are you afraid? Have you still no faith?”  And they were filled with great awe and said to one another, “Who then is this, that even the wind and the sea obey him?”  How do we know that Jesus is the provider of rest? His word demonstrates it. 

Psalms 23  "The Lord is my shepherd; I have all that I need. He lets me rest in green meadows; he leads me beside peaceful streams. He renews my strength. He guides me along right paths, bringing honor to his name. Even when I walk through the darkest valley, I will not be afraid, for you are close beside me. Your rod and your staff protect and comfort me. You prepare a feast for me in the presence of my enemies. You honor me by anointing my head with oil. My cup overflows with blessings. Surely your goodness and unfailing love will pursue me all the days of my life, and I will live in the house of the Lord forever."

Matthew 6:25 "That is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life—whether you have enough food and drink, or enough clothes to wear. Isn’t life more than food, and your body more than clothing? Look at the birds. They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them. And aren’t you far more valuable to him than they are?  Can all your worries add a single moment to your life?  “And why worry about your clothing? Look at the lilies of the field and how they grow. They don’t work or make their clothing,  yet Solomon in all his glory was not dressed as beautifully as they are. And if God cares so wonderfully for wildflowers that are here today and thrown into the fire tomorrow, he will certainly care for you. Why do you have so little faith?  “So don’t worry about these things, saying, ‘What will we eat? What will we drink? What will we wear?’ These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your heavenly Father already knows all your needs. Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need. “So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today."

Scripture is a great way to find the promises of God, we can also know His rest in the Holy Spirit! It may seems like madness to some not to know what tomorrow holds and not to worry about it. I believe it can also be freeing. When we lose worry we lose fear, chaos, and doubt. There is true rest in His presence, just lean on Him, and find His Shalom. Peace is available and ready for you!Your chaos is not your life and not who you are. Be set free!

 

Never again!

Do you have a thing you know you would never do again and you end up doing it anyway? Yes I do too! My biggest thing that I do, that I do not want to do, but end up doing it once in a while is going to the grocery store with the littles, middles and a few olders. It is pure madness!The littles are it seems screaming, the middles and olders are asking for everything in the store! I really cannot take any of them to the store ever again!! But yet it seems that there are times that I must (rolls eyes) and get the things we need. Yes it is more ideal to have a sitter and go with the Hubby ;) Get some extra time and have a "date night" so to say. Why can I not take them to the store? The older kids are just as annoying as the younger! I had to really think about this. In a previous post I talked about taking moments when you get them. I was losing moments, and not realizing it. So even though it seems difficult I plan on trying to be more positive! I am really not in that much of a hurry and I do not need to be rushed. I hate being rushed, but when I am at the store I feel like rushing because everyone around me is! So yes I will go slower and enjoy my time with all my kids, yes all of them! ;) Enjoy the time you have with the people you love, each moment is precious even when at the grocery store. Use every moment as opportunities to grow and bond with the people you love. Stay positive and look at the bigger picture.

Resolutions

As the New Year is now upon us I have heard many say they are starting a new year resolution, or have seen many advertisements that you need to start one. I am not against them by any means. And if you take part I will do nothing but encourage you! For me I do not make a resolution. I don't see why waiting till the new year to make a change makes sense. Usually people want to change something, like lose weigh, save money, go back to school, change jobs, get out of a bad relationship... this list can go on and on!! I say why wait?! Why not make the change you want now, why does bringing in the New Year make is so special? Do not wait to make changes in your life until next year... It is interesting I was cleaning out my email and for the last few years I was signed up to receive 3 different daily devotionals. It is funny I never unsubscribed to them because I knew it was something I wanted to do so I set my email up that once I get these daily emails they would go straight to a folder, I was still holding on to the idea that I would go back and read them! Well I cleaned out those three folders with over 400 new emails... I just signed up for 4 new devotional studies that I want to do, and I had totally forgot about the three that I had already been signed up to do. Having good intentions, but not getting it done! Is that the story of your life? It seems to be mine. And it is more frequent than I would like! This is something that I am always working on to change. Intentions tho they may be good and in the right direction when you don't complete them you feel bad. We have intentions on starting a New Years resolution, to make a change to be better or do better. And it may start out great, but what seems to happen is as time goes on you get pulled back into old patterns, being over scheduled and under many time restraints. I want to try a simple approach to this thing called life. Mine is crazy, and having 7 kids live in one house would drive most of us mad! A few things I do to survive the chaos that may help you. I take each day at a time, period. I do not schedule to far in advance, the few things that are scheduled are doctor appointments and meetings with teachers. The kids only have ONE activity that they can choose to be apart of. So for us its football, orchestra, and drama club, girl scouts. I do not over book our schedule. Most of the time we plan a day a head or the day of. So we have friends stop over and will throw a meal together, we are a fly by the seat of your pants family! Enjoy each moment and each other!

Clean Crazy

With the Holidays I feel like I have been going clean crazy. I am always cleaning and wanting to make sure that the house looks nice as we planned on having company over. I am a huge HGTV fan and when I have time I like to binge watch the shows, I especially like Fixer Upper, Property Brothers and Love it or List it. I watch these shows always thinking how in the world are these houses maculate? It looks like either no one lives in them or that they have a maid! Our house is not a horrible mess, its the laundry and dishes that do pile up, but for the most part it is neat, defiantly not maculate as the houses I see on HGTV. It is so easy to get caught up in the need to have my house look that way and feel upset when it doesn't. I than have reality hit me, I have 7 kids living in the same house! I usually like to have things in order and be organized, but some times I pause and make a decision to relax, or just spend time with my kids. It is not easy when I want to go through each room and clean, but it has been worth it. Taking time to prioritize and knowing what is more important is key. My friends and family know that my house is not going to be perfect, and that really does not matter. They are coming over to visit me, not my house. So when you feel like you can not do it all, just remember its a house, a room and it will be okay. Enjoy your time with your family!

Time

There are times when some people would look at my life and think it is pure madness... ok everyone who knows how many kids live in one house think I am crazy! It is, and honestly I do not know how I get through some days. Keeping track of kids, all of them where they are, how are they getting there, did I drop the baby off at the sitters?... Yes activities, schedules, friends houses, and the sort can become very confusing. If you ask me right now, what I have planned for next week I would have no clue! I do not schedule that far ahead, and I try not to over schedule. I have... let me see a yahoo calendar, and outlook calendar at work and my calendar on my phone. Do they all have the same thing on them... um no. I am not that organized. So when I think about planning things out I have to check all three! Yes I know I could and should be better organized right? Well as we say in our family "Ain't nobody got time for that!" I honestly am always thinking where are my kids at... yes really. I go through each kid starting with the little's, than the middles, and the olders. So the question is when do I take time? Yes that vital time for mom alone time, not having a toddler go to the bathroom with me kind of time. I mean that time where I can soak and relax in a bath, or go get a pedi and mani with a girlfriend. Sit and not do anything, or just sleep in once! It is very hard to get that time in. I have realized it is also as important to get that time in with my husband. We need the one on one quality time, laughing, talking and just being a couple. Time is so important! Because we also need to have time one on one time with each kid. Well how in the world can we do that? I have realized that I can steal every moment of time and make it important. When I am one on one with a kid using that time wisely! It does not have to be going out to a special place, it can be in the car going to an activity, going to the grocery store... my husband and I use that one a lot! Getting planned time in may seem difficult but when you take each moment and opportunity that there is time, you will see you have more than you thought. It has been hard to get much me time in, but I usually just let my hubby know and he watches the kids so I can get my alone time, my recoup and pull it all together before I break time... and it is wonderful! So spend time and utilize all the time you do get. Enjoy your family and take the time!

Traditions

Being in a blended family is no small task! This holiday season can cause turmoil, fighting and hurt feelings. The holidays are a time to really spread the love of Christ and show compassion to all. This includes your entire family! My husband and I will be having our 4th Christmas together. This year is special though... it is our first Christmas with all the kids! We are so excited. :) With this new journey if you want to call it that, we are going to be creating new traditions. Our oldest asked if we can still do a few things that her mom used to do. Without hesitation it was a yes. You see we have to come together as parents of blended families and realize that its not about us, but about our kids! If they have a tradition that has been carried on over the many years of their growing up to tell them you won't can be more than hurtful. So this Christmas I challenge each parent of a blended family to accept traditions that may not be your own, and participate in them and share in the honoring and respecting of the children's parent. When you are not fighting and able to get along it not is easier on you, but will make a huge impact on your children! Spread the love and enjoy each other!!

Become United!

A lesson I had to learn. When you bring two families together to become one, there will be times of discomfort and unwillingness. It is interesting if you think about it. The child has been raised a certain way, and may not be used to the way of the step parent. It is vital, and I mean vital to be on the same page with your spouse. On the same team, cheering the same cheer. If you are unsure of what I am talking about let me help you understand. When you have parented your children a certain way as a single parent you become used to your way it is routine. Introducing a spouse who may have different parenting ideas, and their kids can unbalance the scale. What can happen is that each parent will parent their bio children and not the step's. Or they will try to parent the step's but will disagree with their spouses parenting. It is very hard. I grew up in a strict environment and was not allowed to do much without my parents knowing. My husband grew up in a relaxed environment where there was not many rules. Can you see how this may cause problems not just in general but in a blended family situation. We differed on our ideas so much that we started fighting. A couple who usually does not fight. We finally had some time to sit and talk it out, and we realized that we were different and that caused division within our marriage and our home. We began to work on a plan that we both agreed on and put in effect. We now parent together in everything. We are one and the same. No kid has a different punishment, no kid has different rules or expectations. Once we began to parent with each other rather than against each other things began to fall into place for us! So if you are struggling with parenting as a blended family know that the first step it getting on the same page as your spouse. By that I mean sit down talk out what you do not agree with and figure out what you can agree on. Set up guidelines that you both are comfortable with and when you deliver them make sure both are present. Also do not make a decision with out the other, period. If your spouse is busy, the child can wait. You want to be unified in all you do as parents, as a couple and not only for your marriage but for your children!

It all started back in Feb. 2016. I was expecting and did not realize I would be having 4! The day we came home from the hospital with our little bundle of Joy we also had 3 teenagers move in. I did not know what to expect or anticipate. It was pure chaos, and has been that way since. You see when I met my husband we both were single parents. I had two and he had four... together we have two more. Thankfully the oldest lives on her own. The ages of our children are 10 months, 3 yrs, 10 yrs, 13 yrs, 15 yrs, and a set of twins at 17 yrs. And the oldest at 20 yrs. Yes that is eight children between the two of us! When referring to the children we call them little's the two youngest, the middles the two preteens and the older's. So when I am talking about them you will understand what I am referring to. It was just easier that way especially when talking about them I wouldn't have to list each kids name. So to explain my family is not a blended family. The word blended means; the mixing of two different things to become something altogether different. Yes this concept is a great idea... but when you have teens and preteens and a toddler there is no such thing as blending. They are their own person, and trying to make them become something else is next to impossible! We are a combined family, who loves each other and our own uniqueness. Everyday there is a struggle, and small battle, tears, yelling, and much more. I do not know all the answers, and do not proclaim to. Join me on my journey and crazy experience.