Become United!

A lesson I had to learn. When you bring two families together to become one, there will be times of discomfort and unwillingness. It is interesting if you think about it. The child has been raised a certain way, and may not be used to the way of the step parent. It is vital, and I mean vital to be on the same page with your spouse. On the same team, cheering the same cheer. If you are unsure of what I am talking about let me help you understand. When you have parented your children a certain way as a single parent you become used to your way it is routine. Introducing a spouse who may have different parenting ideas, and their kids can unbalance the scale. What can happen is that each parent will parent their bio children and not the step's. Or they will try to parent the step's but will disagree with their spouses parenting. It is very hard. I grew up in a strict environment and was not allowed to do much without my parents knowing. My husband grew up in a relaxed environment where there was not many rules. Can you see how this may cause problems not just in general but in a blended family situation. We differed on our ideas so much that we started fighting. A couple who usually does not fight. We finally had some time to sit and talk it out, and we realized that we were different and that caused division within our marriage and our home. We began to work on a plan that we both agreed on and put in effect. We now parent together in everything. We are one and the same. No kid has a different punishment, no kid has different rules or expectations. Once we began to parent with each other rather than against each other things began to fall into place for us! So if you are struggling with parenting as a blended family know that the first step it getting on the same page as your spouse. By that I mean sit down talk out what you do not agree with and figure out what you can agree on. Set up guidelines that you both are comfortable with and when you deliver them make sure both are present. Also do not make a decision with out the other, period. If your spouse is busy, the child can wait. You want to be unified in all you do as parents, as a couple and not only for your marriage but for your children!