Time

There are times when some people would look at my life and think it is pure madness... ok everyone who knows how many kids live in one house think I am crazy! It is, and honestly I do not know how I get through some days. Keeping track of kids, all of them where they are, how are they getting there, did I drop the baby off at the sitters?... Yes activities, schedules, friends houses, and the sort can become very confusing. If you ask me right now, what I have planned for next week I would have no clue! I do not schedule that far ahead, and I try not to over schedule. I have... let me see a yahoo calendar, and outlook calendar at work and my calendar on my phone. Do they all have the same thing on them... um no. I am not that organized. So when I think about planning things out I have to check all three! Yes I know I could and should be better organized right? Well as we say in our family "Ain't nobody got time for that!" I honestly am always thinking where are my kids at... yes really. I go through each kid starting with the little's, than the middles, and the olders. So the question is when do I take time? Yes that vital time for mom alone time, not having a toddler go to the bathroom with me kind of time. I mean that time where I can soak and relax in a bath, or go get a pedi and mani with a girlfriend. Sit and not do anything, or just sleep in once! It is very hard to get that time in. I have realized it is also as important to get that time in with my husband. We need the one on one quality time, laughing, talking and just being a couple. Time is so important! Because we also need to have time one on one time with each kid. Well how in the world can we do that? I have realized that I can steal every moment of time and make it important. When I am one on one with a kid using that time wisely! It does not have to be going out to a special place, it can be in the car going to an activity, going to the grocery store... my husband and I use that one a lot! Getting planned time in may seem difficult but when you take each moment and opportunity that there is time, you will see you have more than you thought. It has been hard to get much me time in, but I usually just let my hubby know and he watches the kids so I can get my alone time, my recoup and pull it all together before I break time... and it is wonderful! So spend time and utilize all the time you do get. Enjoy your family and take the time!

Traditions

Being in a blended family is no small task! This holiday season can cause turmoil, fighting and hurt feelings. The holidays are a time to really spread the love of Christ and show compassion to all. This includes your entire family! My husband and I will be having our 4th Christmas together. This year is special though... it is our first Christmas with all the kids! We are so excited. :) With this new journey if you want to call it that, we are going to be creating new traditions. Our oldest asked if we can still do a few things that her mom used to do. Without hesitation it was a yes. You see we have to come together as parents of blended families and realize that its not about us, but about our kids! If they have a tradition that has been carried on over the many years of their growing up to tell them you won't can be more than hurtful. So this Christmas I challenge each parent of a blended family to accept traditions that may not be your own, and participate in them and share in the honoring and respecting of the children's parent. When you are not fighting and able to get along it not is easier on you, but will make a huge impact on your children! Spread the love and enjoy each other!!

Become United!

A lesson I had to learn. When you bring two families together to become one, there will be times of discomfort and unwillingness. It is interesting if you think about it. The child has been raised a certain way, and may not be used to the way of the step parent. It is vital, and I mean vital to be on the same page with your spouse. On the same team, cheering the same cheer. If you are unsure of what I am talking about let me help you understand. When you have parented your children a certain way as a single parent you become used to your way it is routine. Introducing a spouse who may have different parenting ideas, and their kids can unbalance the scale. What can happen is that each parent will parent their bio children and not the step's. Or they will try to parent the step's but will disagree with their spouses parenting. It is very hard. I grew up in a strict environment and was not allowed to do much without my parents knowing. My husband grew up in a relaxed environment where there was not many rules. Can you see how this may cause problems not just in general but in a blended family situation. We differed on our ideas so much that we started fighting. A couple who usually does not fight. We finally had some time to sit and talk it out, and we realized that we were different and that caused division within our marriage and our home. We began to work on a plan that we both agreed on and put in effect. We now parent together in everything. We are one and the same. No kid has a different punishment, no kid has different rules or expectations. Once we began to parent with each other rather than against each other things began to fall into place for us! So if you are struggling with parenting as a blended family know that the first step it getting on the same page as your spouse. By that I mean sit down talk out what you do not agree with and figure out what you can agree on. Set up guidelines that you both are comfortable with and when you deliver them make sure both are present. Also do not make a decision with out the other, period. If your spouse is busy, the child can wait. You want to be unified in all you do as parents, as a couple and not only for your marriage but for your children!

It all started back in Feb. 2016. I was expecting and did not realize I would be having 4! The day we came home from the hospital with our little bundle of Joy we also had 3 teenagers move in. I did not know what to expect or anticipate. It was pure chaos, and has been that way since. You see when I met my husband we both were single parents. I had two and he had four... together we have two more. Thankfully the oldest lives on her own. The ages of our children are 10 months, 3 yrs, 10 yrs, 13 yrs, 15 yrs, and a set of twins at 17 yrs. And the oldest at 20 yrs. Yes that is eight children between the two of us! When referring to the children we call them little's the two youngest, the middles the two preteens and the older's. So when I am talking about them you will understand what I am referring to. It was just easier that way especially when talking about them I wouldn't have to list each kids name. So to explain my family is not a blended family. The word blended means; the mixing of two different things to become something altogether different. Yes this concept is a great idea... but when you have teens and preteens and a toddler there is no such thing as blending. They are their own person, and trying to make them become something else is next to impossible! We are a combined family, who loves each other and our own uniqueness. Everyday there is a struggle, and small battle, tears, yelling, and much more. I do not know all the answers, and do not proclaim to. Join me on my journey and crazy experience.